Fake news or not, the idea of the government keen to take over sport isn’t too far-fetched. After finding SOEs hard going, and making a hash of it, it sees sport as easy meat and a way to make up for its pathetic handling of portfolios under its wing.
Given its wont to blacken whatever it touches, cricket would be its first priority. After all, we can’t have whiteys rule the roost, so back comes Fikile Mbalula as head honcho. He finds transport a road to nowhere and can’t let rip with “donder hulle” utterances he gets away with in sport.
And, what’s more, he enjoys the limelight with thousands of spectators as back drop on television. Mr Entertainment personified. Laugh a minute.
Graham Smith to make way for another cricketing icon. Makhaya Ntini. I mean, he’s already an embedded commentator and possesses the talent required of a politician: to sprout a load of unrelated garbage. He’s perfect for the job. All is not lost, however.
Hopefully, he’ll quit the cackle and use his real talent to show aspirant cricketers how to bowl swing, line and length, rooting out the likes of Root and Kohli.
The government’s biggest job will be to find a sponsor to meet the bill for hand-picked administrators. From experience we know these people don’t come cheap, having to sustain their appetite for Maserati’s, holiday homes – not forgetting travel and accommodation during sporting events. Maybe it will approach Standard Bank to again come to the party with the promise of displaying its logo on the gregarious Fikile’s lapel and hatband – guaranteeing ongoing total exposure. It’ll bowl them over, in a manner of speaking.
Once cricket has been taken care of, rugby is the next priority. The picture is still too pale and needs strong dabs of black. The government is sure to find candidates who’ll foot its bill – whether or not for the sake of the sport. However, it may well find opposition from the present Springbok captain who is against any form of colour coding. So he’s sure to be dropped once the new bunch has taken the ball.
But let’s hope the whole shebang is fake news, and sport will be allowed to evolve on its own strength with no governmental interference. Then it’ll be a truly happy new year for the nation-at-large.