Translate to: 

We’ll even cause Vikings to frown

15
How do we come across to foreigners? Vilgot, a Swedish acquaintance not given to small talk, gives a guttural monosyllabic answer: “Funny”. Meaning humorous? He manages three words: “No, no, weird”.
 
Asked for examples, he’s more verbally forthcoming. “Men walk around shopping centres without shoes. If only they’d wash their feet, cut and scrape their claw-like toenails that picked up dog turd and mud. While waiting for my turn at a barbershop, two grown men walk in bare footed. Disgusting! Unbelievable!” He figures if they can afford a haircut, they can afford shoes.
 
The other habit he finds fascinating is the expression: “Yes, no, OK, fine”. He asks whether it’s yes, or no, or OK? It can’t mean all three. And, in his vocab, OK is the same as fine. “It would’ve confused Viking King Cnut the Great, never mind us dumb Swedes,” he says, forcing a smile.
 
And he spots “church people” by the way they piously enunciate their words. “And they ooze politeness, as if preaching from a pulpit. I feel like a sinner”.
 
He also finds our braai occasions unique. “The men stand around the fires clutching beer cans and pontificating about rugby, while sulky women sit indoors pulling their husbands apart while knitting or making salad. By the time the meat comes off the fire the men are pissed and the women pissed off”.
 
Fed-up with his rude assessment, I counter: “And what do Swedes do when they barbeque?”
“Simple. Everybody, men and women, get pissed - together”.
 
Coincidentally, I came across this piece defining a typical Swede: “They are ironically direct people. However, their directness can be subtle and hard to read. You could say in some ways this quiet directness is similar to being passive aggressive”. Hey?
 
I thought it prudent not to mention this to Vilgot. Instead I ask him whether he knows any Swedish jokes.
“But, of course. Like, a Swede calls the airline and asks how long it will take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris. ‘Just a moment,’ the clerk say. "Oh, thank you,’ the Swede replies, and hangs up”. He chokes on a guffaw, and is on a roll. “Did you hear abortion has caught on so well in Sweden there's a 10-month waiting period”. Hawr-hawr-hawr.
 
Sounds a lot like a Van der Merwe. Tee-hee.
10:31 (GMT+2), Fri, 17 March 2017
Your Comments...
 
Login or Register here.
*To REGISTER you will be directed to the registration page. Once you have completed the registration process, please return to this page.

Weather

Currencies

US Dollar
Pound Sterling
Euro
Australian Dollar
New Zealand Dollar
Canadian Dollar
UAE Dirham
Singapore Dollar
Chinese Yuan

Moon Cycle

CURRENT MOON

Horoscopes

Get your free daily horoscope + free daily forecast below.
Choose your zodiac sign:
  Aries    
March 21 - April 19
Libra    
September 23 - October 22
  Taurus    
April 20 - May 20
Scorpio    
October 23 - November 21
  Gemini    
May 21 - June 20
Sagittarius    
November 22 - December 21
  Cancer    
June 21 - July 22
Capricorn    
December 22 - January 19
  Leo    
July 23 - August 22
Aquarius    
January 20 - February 18
  Virgo    
August 23 - September 22
Pisces    
February 19 - March 20

Movie Trailers

Frank Adler (Chris Evans) is a single man raising a child prodigy - his...
Blindsided by a new generation of blazing-fast racers, the legendary...
In Rough Night, an edgy R-rated comedy, five best friends from college...
Johnny Depp returns to the big screen as the iconic, swashbuckling...
Before she was Wonder Woman, she was Diana, princess of the Amazons,...

Games

Air hockey is one of everyone's favorite challenges! Represent your...
This is the most advanced edition of the popular online version of Pool...
In this Digital Domino Game all the rules are the same as the real game....
The classic mind-wracking math puzzle game is now online! With a brad new...
Voting Poll
Damvlakke in die Oudtshoorn-gebied is kommerwekkend laag, met van die damme wat leeg is en ander met minder as 10% waterinhoud. Alhoewel daar nog nie waterbeperkings vir Oudtshoorn ingestel is nie:
Gebruik ek water spaarsamig
Oudtshoorn Courant 75%
Is ek nie bekommerd nie en gebruik water soos normaalweg
Oudtshoorn Courant 25%
Men
Women
Search
I'm a 59 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 35 and 55.
I'm a 64 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 40 and 60.